The cult of the positive
I listened to New York Times writer Barbara Ehrenreich speak at Barnes and Noble last week - her new book Bright Sided has just been published and it's a damming indictment of the cult of the positive that bedevils America. She spoke with wit and elegance about her diagnosis of breast cancer 8 years ago and the pressure to 'be positive' surrounded by a sea of pink ribbons and teddy bears. The first chapter of the book describes in detail her journey through 'supportive' fora online - each more insistent than the last that she 'must' be positive or else it would affect the progression of her disease.
It's about time....I'm all for positive thinking in moderation but when positive thinking has, as its shadow side, the implication that fear, negativity and other difficulties and ills that befall us are in some way 'our fault' for not attracting positivity to ourselves then it's time to question what's really going on. ?
But Ehrenreich is also interested in corporate life - from an interview in Democracy Now
I can't tell you how many times I have read people who have lost their jobs in this recession in the newspaper saying, "But I'm trying so hard to be positive." Well, maybe there's no reason to be positive. Maybe you should be angry, you know? I mean, there is a place for that in the world.
It does make you wonder - what exactly is positivity a defense for? Splitting feelings into good/bad is a useful defense sometimes but it's also a disappointing one. Maturity and a capacity to be in a healthy relationship (with ourselves as well as with others) depends on being able to manage the spectrum of emotions we experience. The more attached we are to one end of the spectrum the more interesting it is to wonder what we're avoiding on the other.
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Although I haven't yet seen this latest book, I loved Ehrenreich's essay "Welcome to Cancerland" (about her rage over the pink ribbons & teddy bears offered to "sooth" her cancer diagnosis) as well as the chapter on positivity coaching in Bait and Switch. So I'm sure this latest book is characteristically good.
I'm all for positivity as a self-motivated (and self-motivating) coping mechanism, but things get messy when others try to force positivity down your throat. And things get ESPECIALLY messy when positivity is marketed and sold as a "product": something that gurus have and the seekers of "self help" lack.
Posted by Lorianne | October 21, 2009 5:18 PM
I heartily agree Lorianne - and Ehrenreich's take on it is refreshing and not at all cynical...I really liked her take on the shadow side - that if something happens to us it's obviously our own faults for being negative!
Posted by annette | October 21, 2009 8:04 PM